History's Most Underwhelming Celebrity Big Brother Contestants

Oh - you mean Kenzie from Blazin' Squad. One forgettable teenager in a troupe of 16 forgettable teenagers. Presumably prised into the line-up in the hope that we'd remember their singles Flip Reverse and Crossroads, Kenzie actually did remarkably well, ultimately finishing in second place. But that doesn't mean, when he stepped out of that limo, an entire nation didn't look to whoever was next to them and shrug. Another boyband boy, now old enough to qualify as 'male adult', who the vast majority of us wouldn't be able to pick out of a Buzzcocks line up if our lives depended on it. Apparently he was formerly a member of the popsters known as A1, who were three times bigger than the other paper-based popsters, A4. But size doesn't matter, and nobody had a clue who Ben Adams was. He came fifth, just behind Mini-Me from Austin Powers. We all know who Preston is now, but at the time? No. We may have had a passing knowledge of the indie no-mark, the way you might vaguely recall that the second guitarist from Right Said Fred had a perm. But The Ordinary Boys were pretty far from being a household name, and Preston turned up looking like a schoolboy desperately aiming for a Damon Albarn air of detachment and eccentricity but coming up so short he actually just looked like a sixth form student with a terrible tattoo. And then he went and spoiled any hope of rising above his station by going out with Chantelle and jumping into the tabloid soup without a wetsuit. The silly boy. to promote their own myth, and have been celebrated by at least a handful of fans, Jackiey Budden appeared on Celebrity Big Brother because she happened to give birth to a girl who happened to go on to not win a series of Big Brother. And that qualified her for success, meaning she was free to wander around the set, constantly mispronouncing Shilpa Shetty's name, before giving up and referring to her simply as 'The Indian', offending anyone with an iota of anything that is decent.

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My Booky Wook, A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up

My Booky Wook, A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up

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Welcome to Pornoland

Welcome to Pornoland

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English Pornographic Film Actors, Mary Millington, Linsey Dawn Mckenzie, Suzy Mandel, Kristen Bjorn, Nikki Jayne, Kay Parker, Hannah Harper

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Culture wars, an encyclopedia of issues, viewpoints, and voices

Culture wars, an encyclopedia of issues, viewpoints, and voices

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Dead Man Talking, Famous Last Words of F. C. Naylor

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