14 of the worst sports team names in existence
Or… you get the point. But this list is reserved for the worst of the worst, those team names that are so dumb, so ridiculous, that they deserve special ridicule. These names are culled from both the college and pro ranks (Oh, and one high school whose name was so ridiculous that I couldn’t ignore it.) I tried not to include redundancies. For instance, there are seemingly a million schools with harmless animal nicknames -– Ducks, Beavers, hell, even Squirrels -– but rather than list them all, I thought I’d just let the Turtle stand for them all. And with all that said, let’s just hold our noses and get on with it. Here are the 14 worst sports team names.What the hell is a Hokie? Well, apparently, according to Virginia Tech’s own Web site, back in 1896, some weirdo student liked to yell the word “Hokie.” When asked what it meant, the student said that it meant nothing and that he had just made it up. Well, hell! How could the school not adopt that as its official name? Sheesh. Anyway, they still needed a mascot and so they came up with the following definition of a “Hokie”, again taken from Virginia Tech’s own Web site (this means they actually endorse this crap): “The bird is a “HokieBird” which has evolved from a turkey. Virginia Tech teams were once called the ‘gobblers’!” Yes, a “Hokie” is a meaningless gibberish word and the mascot itself is a mutant turkey. Enough said.
I know some Knicks fans who will be pissed about this, but come on. Knicks is short for Knickerbockers, which can mean either one of two things. Either it is a term for Dutch settlers, essentially created by Washington Irving, who wrote a book called Knickerbocker’s History of New York, and wrote the book from the perspective of a dude named Diedrich Knickerbocker, or it is a term for short pants. Look, either way is kind of dumb, right? Either the team was named for a fictitious character named Diedrich or after a pair of short pants. Sure, it’s alliterative, but when you’re naming a team you really don’t want to conjure up the image of a dude named Diedrich in a pair of short pants. Call me crazy.
Look, I know the people of Campbell University thought they were being clever with the whole Campbell/Camel thing, but someone really should have stopped them. I mean, come on, a camel? Yes. The people of Campbell proudly and willingly chose as their mascot a humpbacked beast that spits at its enemies. Oh, but it is good at wandering the desert. All qualities you want in your sports teams to be sure, but –- and maybe it’s just me -– I think they could have done just a little better.
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For instance, there are seemingly a million schools with harmless animal nicknames -– Ducks, Beavers, hell, even Squirrels -– but rather than list them all, I thought I'd just let the Turtle stand for them all. And with all that said, let's just hold
So does cool points. And nickname origin. And in truth, most all of these are quick (almost all are shorter than three words). Enough dilly-dallying, and gang, as always feel free to respond, because no matter how much we put into this list we're
Pretty lackluster. He almost makes the list because of his incredible longevity…but to me, you aren't winning a championship with him as your best player. Good at basketball, but cared more about being good at life. And that's cool.
Brian Bennett: I prefer the Blackshirts, which was even cooler before seemingly every team made black a part of their uniform choices. Silver Bullets is cool as well, and there's a great tradition there. I'm all for as many nicknames as possible,
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